Tuesday, November 30, 2010

easy as fuck banana bread

Baking is difficult for many people. However, the only thing really stopping most people from being successful is a lack of understanding that baking is all about timing and adding flavor. Breads are the easiest things to not fuck up, so lets start there.

The Ingredients:
- 2 large, over ripe bananas

- 2 cups flour

- 1 tsp baking soda

- 1/2 tsp salt

- 1 tsp vanilla extract

- 1 tsp pumpkin pie spice (optional, or substitute 1/2 tsp ginger, 1/2 tsp cinnamon and 1/8 tsp ground cloves for the pumpkin pie spice)

- 1/2 cup softened butter

- 3/4 cup brown sugar

- 2 eggs beaten

- shredded, sweetened coconut (optional)


The Rundown:

- preheat oven to 350

- grease and flour one 8'x4' or 9'x5' loaf pan

- mix flour, salt, spices, baking powder in bowl

- in seperate, larger bowl, cream together butter and brown sugar

- add vanilla and beaten eggs to butter/ sugar mixture

- cut up and mash bananas into wet mixture

- stir in dry ingredients, mixing until just moist

- pour into loaf pan, sprinkle coconut over top

- bake 60-65 min on center rack, until knife inserted into center comes out clean

Some awesome additions to this bread are chocolate chips, peanut butter chips, chopped nuts, dried cranberriies, raisins

Monday, November 8, 2010

fucking PERFECT red lobster cheddar biscuits. i mean that.

I did it. I figured out the secret to making red lobsters' cheddar biscuits. most people think the secret everyone leaves out is old bay seasoning (yeah, its necessary), but not a single recipe i've looked at for them in the past ten years mentioned this one little detail, the TRUE key ingredient. BUTTERMILK instead of regular. HAHAHAHAHA! I win. I fucking win. Now you all can revel in the same glory I did when I tasted my victoriuous results.

The Ingredients:

Biscuits
- 2 cups flour

- 2 tsp baking powder'

- 1/2 tsp salt

- 1 tsp seasoned salt

- 1 tsp old bay seasoning

- 1 tsp garlic powder

- 1/3 cup COLD butter cut into small chunks

- 2 tbsp vegetable oil

- 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese

- 1/2 plus 1/3 cup buttermilk (divided)


Garlic butter sauce

- 3 tbsp butter

- 1/2 tsp garlic

- 1/2 tsp dried parsley


The Rundown:
- preheat oven to 400

- mix flour, garlic, old bay, salt, seasoned salt

- drop in cold butter chunks, mix in by hand

- add cheese and vegetable oil, mix by hand

- pour in first 1/2 cup of buttermilk, stir

- slowly add other 1/3 cup until dough is... well... doughy. so its a little sticky
but not TOO messy

- drop lemon sized amounts of dough onto ungreased cookie sheet (should make 12)

- bake 16-17 min

- in small saucepan, melt butter, garlic and parsley, spoon over biscuits as soon as you take them out of the oven

- serve those bitches warm!

Monday, October 4, 2010

italian sausage soup with tortellini

If there's one thing that Italians are good for, it's food. And anyone can make great Italian inspired dishes, regardless of their lineage. You just need patience, a good spice rack, good ingredients and the ability to remember that making your own awesome food is pretty fucking easy. I love making soups for my family since they heat up well later in the week for lunches and snacks, and they're great to make in a slow-cooker.

The Ingredients:

- 1 1/2 lbs Italian sausage (hot or sweet)

- olive oil

- 1 32oz can crushed tomatoes

- 32oz beef stock

- 15oz can pink beans

- green beans (fresh or canned)

- your spice rack (garlic, salt, black pepper, onion powder, crushed red pepper, oregano)

- 1 lb frozen cheese tortellini


The Rundown:

- in slow cooker, combine crushed tomatoes, beef stock, green beans and pink beans and spice to taste

- remove sausage from casings, break up and brown in olive oil, seasoning to taste

- add to slow cooker, stir well

- let simmer for 4-6 hours, adding tortellini during last 30 min

Friday, September 10, 2010

meatballs with homemade tomato sauce in a slow cooker

I fucking love meatballs. Seriously. Meatballs with spaghetti or on a sandwich or just in a bowl maybe with some crackers on the side. I also love making meatballs. It's easy and a crock pot really makes it awesome. This is a two-part recipe, first baking the meatballs and then letting them take a loooong bath in the homemade sauce I'm also going to teach you all to make in this entry. Fuck... I want meatballs now. Damn it.

The Ingredients:

The Sauce:

- 2 32oz cans crushed tomatoes

- 1 15 oz can tomato paste

- 1 tbsp EACH of garlic powder, onion powder, oregano, ground black pepper, white sugar (increase garlic/ onion/ oregano, pepper to taste)

- 1 tsp salt

- 1 tsp seasoned salt

- crushed red pepper to taste


The Rundown:

- put all ingredients in slowcooker, mix well

- set to low



The Meatballs:

The Ingredients:

- 2 lbs ground beef or turkey

- 2-3 eggs

- 1 cup breadcrumbs

- 2 tbsp grated parmesan cheese

- garlic powder, onion powder, oregano, salt, pepper to taste


The Rundown:

-preheat oven to 350

grease bottom of 13x9 pan

- mix all ingredients together by hand

- form into balls (I usually go in between a golf ball and a tennis ball)

- place in greased baking pan

- bake uncovered for 30 min

- place meatballs in slow cooker with sauce, let cook 4-6 hours, gently shifting meatballs every 45 min or so

- serve however the hell you want...

sloppy motherfuckin joes

I have a very special place in my heart (and stomach) for good sloppy joes. The real ones. Not some jerks deli meat and coleslaw creation. My problem is, most people make sloppy joes with chopped peppers and onions. I HATE peppers and onions. That shit's nasty. You can add peppers and onions to this recipe if you want, it's your party. Be sure to add them to the ground beef during the browning process.

The Ingredients:

- 2 lbs ground beef, pork or turkey

- 3/4 cup water

- 1 tbsp chili powder

- 1 tsp garlic powder

- 1 tsp onion powder

- 1/2 tsp salt

- 1/2 tsp black pepper

- 3/4 cup chili sauce

- Potato rolls


The Rundown:

- mix water with spices in small bowl, set aside

- brown meat in skillet

- add water/ spice mixture, simmer and reduce

- add chili sauce, allow to simmer and thicken

- spoon onto potato rolls and enjoy

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

slow cooker autumn chili

I know I've been slacking, but I'm on vacation, so fuck off. Today I'm posting the recipe for my awesome slow cooker chili. It makes a great meal by itself, great in burritos, as a dip for tortilla chips, or as a topping for burgers/ baked potatoes/ hot dogs. This is one of my favorite things I make because its so easy and delicious and versatile. And, as usual, it can be customized to suit your tastes. Oh and don't forget to give yourself an extra hour to soak and rinse your beans.

The Ingredients:
- 1 lb ground beef
- 1/2 lb ground pork sausage
- 1 12-16 oz bag dry pink beans, soaked and rinsed
- 1 can sweet kernel corn
- 2 tbsp chili powder
- 2 tsp garlic powder
- 2 tsp onion powder
- 1 tsp crushed red pepper
- 1 tsp seasoned salt
- 1 tsp ground black pepper
- 1 15 oz can crushed tomatoes
- 1 cup water
- 1 small onion finely chopped
- 1 green pepper finely chopped
- 1 carrot chopped
- hot sauce to taste


The Rundown:
- In large skillet, brown meats, adding chopped veggies (not corn) when meat begins to brown.
- In seperate small bowl, mix spices and water, add to meat skillet when mostly browned. Stir well often and allow to liquid to almost completely cook out.
- Combine crushed tomatoes, corn and beans in slow cooker, adding meat misture when done.
- Add your hot sauce, stir well and let it sit 4-6 hours.
- Top with cheese, sour cream, whatever. Its YOUR chili now :)

Monday, August 9, 2010

pecan coconut pie filling

Pecan pie is my favorite pie. And since I love cocnut too, I started adding it to my pecan pie recipe and it rocks. This recipe can be used for pies or for filling pastries.

The Ingredients:
- 1 3/4 cups sugar

- 1/4 cup corn syrup (light or dark, up to you)

- 1/4 cup butter

- 2 tbsp cold water

- 2 tsp cornstarch

- 3 large eggs

- 1 tsp vanilla extract

- 1/2 tsp salt

- 1 1/2 cups chopped pecans

- 1/4 cup coconut

- 1 ready made pie crust

The Rundown:
- Preheat oven to 350 F

- spray pie plate (9") with cooking spray, lay down piecrust

- in medium saucepan, mix sugar, corn syrup, butter, water and cornstarch

- stir well until just boiling, remove from heat

- in mixing bowl, beat eggs until frothy

- add vanilla, salt, pecans and coconut

- slowly mix in sugar mixture, stir well.

- pour into piecrust, bake 45-50 min, til center is set

- cool completely before serving

**-If youre going to use it to fill pastries, bake JUST the filling in a well greased 9" round baking pan at 350F for 40 min, stir well and then fill your pastries and bake according to pastry directions.**

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

picadinho in a slow cooker

I'm not exactly the most open minded person when it comes to what I'll eat. I'm picky, I have a lot of pet peeves and the appetite/ eating habits of a toddler most of the time. Except for when its a good plate of picadinho served with some buttery yellow rice, portuguese bread and a big bowl of portuguese olives. My half portuguese/ half brazilian husband introduced me to picadinho when we first started dating and I still can't get enough of it. Other than bbq chicken with rice and fries, it's pretty much the only thing I'll order when we're at a portuguese restaurant. I decided that I needed to turn picadinho into something I could cook at home, so I developed this slow-cooker modified version of the traditional recipe. This is for a 6 qt crock pot, adjust as needed for a smaller or larger one.

The Ingredients:
- red cooking wine (one bottle of Holland House red cooking wine works for this)

- 32oz beef stock (I happen to like Kitchen Basics)

- 2 large potatoes, cubed (skins on)

- 2 large carrots, peeled and sliced

- 1/2 head cauliflower, cut into florets

- about 20 frozen cooked shrimp (be your own judge of size and amount)

- 1 lb chorizo (about 2 good sized links), sliced into 1/4" rounds

- 2 lb boneless pork or beef roast, cubed

- olive oil (for frying sausage and roast)

- your spice rack (the usuals are great for this: seasoned salt, onion powder, garlic powder)


The Rundown:
- put carrots, cauliflower and frozen cooked shrimp in bottom of slow cooker

- in large skillet, cook sliced chorizo until browned

- add cubed roast and potatoes to skillet for a few minutes, adding spices as you see fit

- do NOT drain.

- add contents of skillet to slow cooker

- add cooking wine and beef stock, stir well

- set for 6-8 hours (stirring occasionally if you're home)

- serve with yellow rice and portuguese rolls (for dipping)

Saturday, July 31, 2010

slow-cooker carpathian beef GHOUL-ash

Sorry for the lag between posts, everyone. Its been a hectic week. But now I'm back and rarin' to go!!

Goulash is one of my favorite foods (when it's done right). So filling and warm and tasty... mmmm... And it's pretty damn easy, too. Here's my slow-cooker version of it! This one is for you, Cristyl.

The Ingredients:
- cubed beef (you can cut up a roast into 2"x2" cubes or buy it already cut)

- tomato paste (one 15 oz can per 32 oz of beef stock)

- beef stock (32 oz is usually fine, I like "kitchen basics")

- one medium onion, sliced

- vegetable oil

- 1 tbsp paprika

- 1 tsp garlic

- 1 tsp ground black pepper

- egg noodles

- sour cream


The Rundown:

- mix tomato paste, beef stock and paprika in slow cooker

- cook onions in vegetable oil in large skillet until nearly translucent

- add beef, garlic and pepper to onions, just brown for a couple minutes

- drain onions/ beef and add to slow cooker, stir well

- set for 6-10 hours (that all depends on your time constraints)

- when finished, serve over cooked egg noodles, top with dollop of sour cream

Monday, July 26, 2010

new recipes later today!

sorry for the delays! i'll be posting new recipes later on today/ tonight.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

tastes-like-thanksgiving casserole bake

It seems like most people only eat stuffing and turkey on Thanksgiving. If I had my way, I'd eat it at least once a week. Thanksgiving food is good food. Comforting, tasty, and you can make a LOT of it at a time to turn into leftovers. Heres a simple casserole bake that can be made utilizing Thanksgiving leftovers (or you can make it fresh any time of the year like I do). This, even moreso than any other recipe I'll post here, is truly meant to be customized to accomodate your personal leftovers/ traditions/ taste/ family size. I like to serve this with a side of cranberry sauce :)

The Ingredients:
- cooked turkey

- turkey gravy (brown gravy is cool too... see what I mean about the flexibility?)

- stuffing (once again, leftover or freshly made works just the same, but if youre making a fresh batch, make sure you have the necessary ingredients)

- corn (or green beans or carrots or peas... whatever veggie you dig for t-day)



The Rundown:
- preheat oven to 350F

- shred turkey, mix with gravy and veggies

- spread stuffing into greased 13x9 about 1"-1 1/2" thick

- evenly spread turkey/ gravy/ veggie mixture over stuffing

- bake for 20 min, let set 10 min, cut into squares and serve

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

vinnys french tickler toast

This awesome french toast recipe comes from my dear friend Vinny. Its in his words (edited for clarity and to be more recipe-friendly), and as with most of my own recipes, all measurements are up to you, to your own taste. If anyone else has any original recipes they'd like to share and have me post, feel free to send them on over.

The Ingredients:
- babka bread (polish bread traditional in my family for holidays. i hate it personally, but it makes a mean french toast because it soaks up all the batter so well. plus there's raisins in it)

- eggs

- ground cinnamon

- ground ginger

- vanilla extract

- brown sugar

- almond milk (i SUPPOSE you could use regular milk, buttermilk, etc... hell i might even experiment with chocolate milk one day. but i prefer almond milk)

- maple syrup

- salt

- oh yeah, and some butter/margarine/whatever to fry it with.

The Rundown:
- beat eggs

- slowly add almond milk to make the eggs lighter but not watery.

- add brown sugar, ginger, maple syrup, pinch of salt, vanilla extract and cinnamon, mix well.


- slice babka bread approximately 1" thick

- coat each slice in egg mixture

- melt butter in heated skillet

- place slices of bread in skillet, turning occasonally until both sides are golden brown

- once it's done, put it on a plate, let that shit cool down for christ's sake, and feast away. add syrup, powdered sugar, fruit, whatever you want to it. oh and let me know what you think!

Monday, July 19, 2010

new recipes coming tomorrow!

sorry i've been a bit neglectful the past few days, everyone. but things are a bit hectic on the homefront. I'll be posting tomorrow nights dinner recipe before I whip it up for the household :)

Friday, July 16, 2010

awesome autumn pumpkin bread

Everyone knows just how much I love baking, especially in the fall and winter. To me, nothing says autumn quite like pumpkins. So my pumpkin bread, muffins, butter, pies, cookies and even pumpkin shaped cakes are always looked forward to by my friends, family and co-workers. This pumpkin bread is great for snacks, dessert or breakfast. Toast it, warm it, spread on some butter, cream cheese, apple butter, or just slice some off and eat it as is.

The Ingredients:
- 3 cups all-purpose flower

- 1 1/2 tbsp pumpkin pie spice

- 1 tbsp ground cloves

- 1 tbsp ground cinnamon

- 1 tbsp ground ginger

- 2 tsp baking soda

- 1 1/2 tsp salt

- 3 cups grnaulated sugar

- 1 29 oz can Libbys 100% pure pumpkin (do NOT use pumpkin pie filling!)

- 4 large eggs

- 1 cup vegetable oil

- 1/2 cup apple cider

- 1 cup sweetened dried/fresh/frozen cranberries

(*to make muffins, add 1 cup of milk to the wet ingredients, increase oil to 1 1/2 cups, fill lined or greased muffin cups 2/3 full and bake 25-30 min)


The Rundown:
- Preheat oven to 350F

- Grease and flour two 9x5" loaf pans (or three 8x4")

- Combine flour, spices, baking soda and salt in large bowl

- Combine sugar, pumpkin, eggs, oil and juice in large mixer bowl, beat until just blended

- add pumpkin mixture to flour mixture, stir until just moistened

- fold in cranberries

- spoon batter into greased loaf pans

- bake 55-60 min (until knife inserted into center comes out clean)

Thursday, July 15, 2010

mommy's sweet & tangy meatloaf

When I was little (and to this very day, to tell the truth and spite the devil), I couldn't get enough of my mom's meatloaf. Its so different from the traditional meatloaf you'll find in restaurants, other kitchens and even most recipe books. She serves it with hashbrowns or potatoes au gratin and some french cut green beans or corn. I like to make cheddar mashed potatoes or tater tots with it. I've never had it anywhere else and neither has anyone else I've ever made it for. It's simple, delicious and makes amazing sandwiches (if there's any left over).

Ingredients:
*Meatloaf*
- ground beef

- eggs (about 1 egg for every pound of meat)

- breadcrumbs

- your spice rack (salt, pepper, crushed red pepper, seaoned salt, garlic, onion all
work well)

*Sauce*
- 1 jar heinz chili sauce

- 1/2 tsp kitchen bouquet

- 1 tbsp brown sugar

- 1/2 tsp brown mustard

(remember, all the measurements for the sauce are based on MY taste for using one bottle of heinz chili sauce)

The Rundown:
- preheat your oven to 350F

- mix meat, eggs, breadcrumbs and spices by hand

- mold meat into loaves, set in baking pans

- in seperate bowl, mix chili sauce, kitchen bouquet, brown sugar, and mustard. set aside.

- cook meatloaf without sauce for first 30 min

- spread 1/2 the sauce over meat, cook for 15 min

- spread on the rest of the sauce, cook for another 20 min.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

portuguese shepherds pie

As an Irish girl, I love a shepherds pie. It's a complete meal, it's easy, comforting and everyone loves it. Since I married a Portuguese man, however, I came up with a way to take the basic format of a shepherds pie (starch bottom, juicy meat and veggie top all baked into a yummy square of awesomeness) and give it that pork chop feel. This being my debut recipe, I decided to use one that shows how diverse, creative and personal cooking is. Recipes are general guides, not rigid demands carved in stone. Make it your own or try it my way. It's all up to you, it's YOUR kitchen. I generally won't give many measurements in my ingredient lists, unless its for baked treats that really require it, since I have no damn idea how many people you're cooking for or how you dig your food.

Ingredients:
-chorizo links
-fresh veggies (carrots, cauliflower, celery, onions, peppers are all good ideas)
-cornbread mix (you'll probably need eggs, milk and butter for mix, or homemade is cool too)
-your spice rack

The Rundown:
-cut your veggies into bite size pieces, mix together and set aside

-cut chorizo links lengthwise, then into 1/4" thick half-moons

-place chorizo into skillet, start browning

-after a few minutes, add veggies and spices as you see fit, stirring well and often over medium-low heat for about 20 minutes. drain and dispose of grease, set veggies/ chorizo aside.

-prepare cornbread batter according to directions and pour into greased baking pan

-spread veggies/chorizo mix over batter, allowing some to sink into the cornbread.

-bake according to directions on cornbread package

-let set 5-10 min, cut into squares, serve and enjoy :)

Feel free to contact me or leave comments with any questions, additions, suggestions... whatever.

i guess i gotta start somewhere...

This is my blog about cooking, baking, grilling (and possibly other random crap I want to rant about now and then). I'll post recipes and my opinions about... whatever i want. I've made my kitchen my bitch, and I figure I can help other people dominate their respective cooking zones. I warn anyone reading this that I will occasionally use some fairly colorful language and I have zero tolerance for people who get all uppity and sensitive about words. If you don't like it, find another cooking blog to read.